Can we falling in again?

C.a.n.n.o.t s.l.e.e.p or lebih tepat lagi  i d.o.n.t w.a.n.t to sleep. Terlalu banyak yang x terluah. Dan sy rasa hanya hr ni y saya ada untuk bercakap tentang semua yang terjadi. Sama ada nak atau tak i have to move on. Forget everything that happened!

Until now I still can't believe i will be like this. Falling to one person, ready for marriage, being rejected and now need to wake my own self and move on.

Kalau lah tahu cinta tu sangat menyakitkan i will never and ever make my self involved with that kind of things.

Jujur i dont know what is love all about. Saya x pernah diberi peluang untuk rasa apa maksud ayat tu. Yeah i have lot of friends and yeah i used to be the one dat have teman tapi mesra, or what so call peminat etc etc but i have never give them even one chance to know them or myself more. The only thing i know is kena belajar rajin rajin jodoh xperlu dicari sebb dah dtetapkan. One day dia akan datang. Bertahun pegang prinsip tu till i meet him. It also not easy for us to. I used to have hate loved relationship with him. I hate his sweet talk or sharing story with me but i also feel so happy too. Keep try and try till i feel he is the one sebb hanya dia y mampu bertahan walau ditolak berulang kali. Orng lain ckup sekali dua hilang and yeah i dont care at all.

But, with him? Everything seem so easy except the part that we are coming from different level of family and except the part that my parent doest like orang jauh jd menantu mereka. But i keep on being friend with him. I know i will never find a guy like him anymore. Which used to keep staying evetho dikata macam macam.

Demi Allah I know eventho this relationship doesn't work but still we can be friends. Sharing all stories together. Everyday without miss. But till when. I have to accept that one day i have to forget him. And one day he will meet somebody new. The fact that she choose the girl that he just know is really make me feel idiot.

Waktu die nak sambung belajar perempuan ni y die cari untuk inform, waktu dpt result prempuan ni jgak y die cari, waktu nak iv kerje waktu dapat kerja. I just wait n keep on waiting for him to be with me forever and ever. But the only things I got after he almost success is asking me to not wait for him. He not for me. And very sure i will got somebody better than him. After 4 years of waiting. It hurt! Really hurt me. But i keep on stay besides him. Hear all the stories. With the hope that one day he will come back to me after realise that only me can love him that much.

Is dat my fault when am asking him to fulfill the promise? Yeah we never declare. We are not couples but He is the one dat said want to marry me. 7 years! I have never being friends with the other guy. Eventho when am no longer be with him 4 years back i still not interested to find the other guy. Tapi dia lepas sorang². Dekat uni lain, dekat tmpt kerja lain. Buaya! Sangat buaya darat!!

Rejecting me by saying that he don't want to have commitment for this few years but suddenly  now planning to get married next year with that girl which i think biasa biase ajeeee again make me feel idiot!!

Ya Allah. I dont know how to falling in love again. Can I? Can i forget everthing that we used to talk? Want to do that want to do this want to go there and want to go here.

Ya Allah bodohnye sy sebb cintakan awak. Orng y x pernah hargai saya. Kalau lah sy abaikan mesej awak 4 tahun dlu mesti kita masing2 x macam ni kn. Bodohnye sy sebb percaya awak boleh jdi husband y baik untuk saya dan bodohnya saya sebb cintakan awak sepenuh hati. Hingga langsung xade ruang untuk y lain. Dan lebih bodoh lagi walau tanpa bercinta tetap juga hti saya bukn sy punya. Bodoh sangat bodoh!!

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