Cinta itu maksudnya apa?

Ahad pukul 2:39 pagi! X boleh tdo! geramnya Fara huwarghhh. Mesti sebb petang da overslept. Dr tenghari skit kpla. Xnk mkn ubt so tdo dngn hrapan sakit hlng. Tpi end up pukul 9 mlm terpksa mkn jugk sebb selalunya klo dngn tdo die x hilng die xkn hilng sampai bile dah unless telan ubat. Ntah knpe ntah. Sebb stress ke ek. Huhu. Rase x stress pun tpi lately sakit kt area bwh jntung/dada secara tibe2 keep datang mcm dulu2(lpas mkn ubt dr bgi dkt sethun da xsakit.kecuali kpla)  Kpla pun. Klo fikir knpe kang mkin stress kang mkin sakit pulk haha so x yh pikir lah. Itu next entry kite fikir lol! :p

So ape itu cinta. Fara ingat fara da matured enuf untuk faham apa itu cinta, matured enuf untuk faham sayang tu mcm mna suka mcm mna etc etc. Tpi harini terpksa akui x faham. Entahlah. Mungkin sebb treatment y di show off for me tu berbeza dr y dbayangkn atau mungkin sebb hti mngharapkn y lebih atau mungkin sebb xade cinta pun dhati so it comes to be tawar hmbar etc etc.

Previously what in my mind is dat...For me no need to contact 24/7 to show dat u care about us.. For me i dont mind if u ask for a year to capai cita2 dan impian before melangkah ke depan walau aduhai lamenyaaa :p & For me no need to sweet talk 24/7. Sekli je pun da ok as long as ia meyakinkan.

Dan bile ia terjadi seperti what so called its ok to do dat its ok to do this ia xlah seindah dan hati x la setenang mana untuk terima.

Pada fara maksud saya suka awak x bermakna cinta. Tpi ia adalah one step closer to what so called cinta. Ia hnya perlukn masa dan keyakinan untuk pergi pda cinta. We cannot simply said to somebody hey i like you etc etc. And opkos we also connot simply said that hei i love you therefore to say that i like you is much more easier and good way to show that you are ready enuf to fallen for somebody if dat somebody care to make us fallen to them!

What happen right know is that both mengaku suke(tibe2 terasa die mngku sebb terpksa hehe) tpi kept saying & put that words in mind dat each bebas cr pasangan msing2.. Klo ade jodoh kite adela klo xde xpela. Kita kawan je lah. Yeah i do agree with this and yes am the one who said this. Bebas untuk flirting around. Sy suke awk lbih dr kawan tpi kurang dr lover. Bile tibe mase da bersedia nk kawin n then the feelings still there then we will got married. I dont mind if that person contact me 3 hr sekli sbuln skli etc etc. Kononnya la sebb bkn cinta kn..

Tpi what happen is yes i do dont mind if he did not contact me for maybe one to 3 days.even month pun ok. Years pun. Awk nk cpai cita cita awak x nk ade komitmen then yes. My answer is 'ok'. *Tpi kdang meroyan jugk la walau baru satu hari hehe. Lgi2 klo bosan atau ade bnda nk share..Ikut keadaan la.* Plus me too which having an attitude of gile kjeeee plus pnat kjeee so mls nk feeling2 blik umh nk tdo je so its ok. Siyesly its ok. Tpi bile kau tngok die keep online 24/7 either fb or wasap which u believe that x mungkin la die ngh strive with work or buat sesuatu untuk capai cita cita or ngh sembng with kawan satu jntina pikir sal works etc etc n in the mean time he did not even say hi to you so in ur mind mesti akan timbul rase die ni tngh contact ngn siapa sebenarnya?

Suddenly rase mcm you need a year to capai cita2 then its ok, You said dat ade jodoh ade xde xpe then its ok too da xrelevan. I think bukn ke mase y diperlukn tu blh juga dguna pkai untuk kenal each other dengn lebih details sambil2 cpai cita2. No need to couple etc etc because am also not that type of person who willings to give 200% komitmen to that feelings but it just that try to know your partner to be(with Allah will) much more better rather than simply said ada ada xde xde. We can use that time to stronger our feelings (if btul kite hrap ada cinta untuk both) and perhaps yakinkan each other y kita saling memerlukan. Baiki dri y mna xkena & opkos prepare to be good husbnd/wifey to be. Ingt jodoh cinta tu dtng sendri ke. Allah nk bgi mcm tu je ? Mmng x la...klo btul da knal and yes x serasi then baru la move on btul2..

Add on, lately what happen is it look like both ade ade xde xde dengan cara flirting dngn orng tu orng ni dengn harapn dpt y lgi baik maybe y blh buat perasaan y entah ade entah xde ni hilang. Pelik tpi itu jugk la y fara rase both buat. Eh tpi i buat sebb terpksa(and bru start buat kjap tdi. Itu next entry kite citer). I dont think there will be somebody who will treat me like him. Tetap 'ada' je walau kne marah tpi sebb thu theres lot of halangan2 plus die sndri pun cume berserah so i pun buat la bnde y same. Berserah juga.. Entahlah. X faham..

And pahit untuk dterima tpi Hakikat realiti xlah seindah mana. U keep saying nti klo kite kawin awk kne buat ini, awak jngn buat ini. Klo kite gaduh klo awak xnk beralah xpe sy beralah. Klo ade duit lbih kite blh g jln sana sini. Etc etc.

For some people it is ok to talk about futures/marriage/dreams even you are not 'connected' but not for me. I will not simply said dont worries kite kawin nnti i bljar la msk untuk u.. X pun ..klo ade duit lbih nnti kite jln sini ek nk cuci mte yeay! Etc etc dah jngn dok knang sangt la bahaha. Eh tpi x ckp bnde mngarut ek. Selalu ckp pasal rumh tmpt percutian mkn mkn je huhu. Gitula lbih kurang. Contoh!

Being ignored for few days even when u nmpk die 'ade' is just really menyakitkn hati tahap mksima kli due. Usahkn suka, cinta pun blh hilng klo x buat ape2.. Kn? No need to wasap sampai sejuta line atau 5 jm tpi enuf with hi hello etc etc but then kne selalu la. Ini ? Mcm ape ntah haha.  Klo time nk wasap dlu dr pgi smpai ke mlm pun blh.sek? Tapi fara x thu la klo ape y fara rase ni same mcm y die rase which is gives time for each to life independently. Ingat kt die. Hr hr pun x lupe tpi mlas nk wasap tkut ganggu. Eh orng pun ade life la tkkn nk mesej 24/7 gituewww tpi bukn ke orng kte klo suke he will keep find u. Eh. Tpi fara pun suke je die tpi x cr jugk die bahaha. Enthlah . nk komen.

Silapnya dekt sini both jenis ego tinggi hati kosong or keras maybe so its look likes ... Semuanya okkk xterasa hti ke ape ke walhal dlm dah meletup cume wat x thu je..itu fara la die fara x thu sebb hti die susah sngt nk dbaca. Xde perasaan pun. Nmpk mcm ade bile die sweet talk tu je la huhu.

Dan salhnya kat sini sebb i do believed dat he 'cares' for me even he actually not. Hei gila kau xperasan orng suke kat kau bile orng tu still contact kau even almost 2 years di ignore dikate mcm2. I still remember one of the harsh word/things i do is dat he texted me when am on my way back from class at 10pm(mse tu bljar lgi. Sethun plus y lpas). Mase tu fara da delete num die so x thu orng y mesej adalh die so reply lah tnya sape. Bile die kte nme sekian2 i said lbih kurang "ouh kau ke. Sorry aku da x simpn no kau buat menyemak memory phone aku je"*gaya serius* & he reply with gelak ketawa n said "tpi aku rase mcm nk bukukn memory kite selma ni" (both mmng brckp aku kau je sebb knal as kwn je kn mule2) like dat la ngn gelak ketawa. End of rasenya fara ckp "dah la aku pnat nk tdo bru blik klas." Even dlayan kasar still cool je. Bnyk mesej y fara acuh x acuh je bls. Kdng x bls lngsung. Klo la kawan jeee xde raseee, gigih sngt ke kau nk brkawan ngn orng sombong? I dont think so. Buang mase!  Gile kau xnk feeling sengsorang bile die kate die cume pikir kau sorang je selama ni. Nk tngok kau bhgia. X tipu. Msej kul 3 4 pgi hnya sebb rindu ktenya*y ni xlh caya tpi kdng trpkir jugk knpe bile die cume mesej icon je without texted. Kdng msej pgi2 bile reply x response pun..hurm* Dan gile kau klo x feeling tersentuh bile die nk pinjm kete dr akak, xdpt akk g adik pulk untuk amik kau kt airport and hntr ko ke office for meeting.. Itu y buat orng sini dr rase nk kawan je tibe2 jdi gila byang tu huhu.. Klo x feeling lgi mmang keras la hti fara haha..

Tpi perasaan ni mkin hari mkin kosong. Rase dperbodohkn. Lpas kite fall die mcm ade xde je. Ke die nk blas blik ape y fara pnh buat dulu huhu. Entahlh. Pnat nk fikir. Look like this relationship will never works. X gune u bgi sejuta kta manis klo u x hrap ape2 pun. Klo kawan je buat cara nk kawan jeee & if u read this do remark to urself dat am not so cheap to flirting around with the other guys while falling for u. !! Do take note!! Eh tibe2 rase mrah pulk huhu. *Ini baru suke x btul2 ngaku cinta lgi.. Klo btul la fara cintakn die haru hiduppp. Entahlh x faham hti sendri*

Honestly said saya penat layan perasaan. Time kasih. K da 3:51! Esok kje matilh fara muke sembab! Haha kbye!

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